Happy New Year!

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…and just like that 2023 is around the corner.

Ask anyone who knows me well enough, and they\’ll tell you that I don\’t subscribe to the idea of New Year\’s Resolutions. Personally, I feel that these are just things that we trick ourselves with to feel like we are trying to better ourselves. Unfortunately, the majority of New Year\’s Resolutions are nothing more than good intentions, which inevitably leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment. That\’s not just my opinion. Take a look at these statistics according to insideoutmastery.com:

38,5% of U.S. adults set New Year’s resolutions yearly, based on the average of five different studies over the past years.
52,6% focus on one New Year’s Resolution, whereas the other 47,4% sets multiple ones.
59% of young adults (18-34) have NY resolutions, making them the largest demographic with New Year’s resolutions.
People over 55 are 3,1 times less likely to have resolutions compared to younger adults. The older someone becomes, the less likely they will have New Year’s resolutions.
54% of parents with children have New Year’s resolutions, which is 1,6 times more than those who don’t have kids.

So why would I want to start the new year by setting myself up for disaster from the get-go? It just doesn\’t make sense.

Instead, I\’ve taken to the habit of setting myself a focus for each year, for instance:

2019 – Focus on what brings you peace – not an absence of drama, but a sense of calm amongst it all

2020 – Hindsight has 20/20 vision – learn from the lessons that crossed your path

2021 – May hope spring eternal – whatever happens, we still have hope

2022 – Leave it all behind you – the past is behind you for a reason. Focus on where you are heading.

And that brings us to 2023. My focus for the coming year just popped into my head from nowhere, and it just feels right.

2023 – Do I need it or do I just want it?

Me being me, I can\’t ever just leave it at that, I had to look deeper. What\’s the difference?

A need is necessary for survival, while a want is a \”nice to have\”. Seems simple enough, doesn\’t it?

Sadly, it\’s rarely that easy. We are emotional creatures. Spiritual beings that have human experiences. What comes with those experiences?

Hurt

Anger

Pain

Love

Joy

…..all these things are normal, but how does it change us. More importantly, how does it change our needs and wants?

This question is one that\’s been asked by many scholars, going back to the likes of Plato and Socrates

In short, and this is purely my limited understanding of the topic:

We need to eat to live, but we want to eat takeaways because it saves us time

We need to drink water, but we want to drink coffee/tea because it tastes better.

We need clothing to cover ourselves, but we want a new dress for that function

So our wants are based on desire, but where do those desires come from?

Could it be that we actually do have the time to prepare a nutritious meal, but we just feel so drained after work that we subconsciously crave that \”feel good\” hormone? Which, if you think about it can also be created through being creative (in the kitchen), while listening to feel-good music (instead of the news or celebrity gossip)?

Could it be that we prefer to drink coffee/tea/energy drinks because we are addicted to the sugar rush and that water with a bit of lemon can taste just as good?

Could it be that shopping aka retail therapy is just an attempt to fill some void within us? We drown in a sea of people trying to find connection, buying endless things that we will never use when what we actually need is a deeper connection. Could it be that taking a walk on the beach, in the forest, or even around your block can create a deeper sense of connection than any mall or any amount of retail therapy?

We\’ve lost our sense of who we are and what is good for us, so we try to find it in instant fixes when we actually need something lasting…

So for 2023, I will continually ponder this:

Do I need this, or do I want it? If I want it, what subconscious need is driving that desire?

Do I need to leave a snarky comment on a Facebook post, or do I want to do it – because it will make me feel like I\’m better / more powerful / more intelligent?

Do I need to win this argument, or do I want to – because it will booze my bruised ego and give me a sense of control?

Do I need to eat that slice of cake, or do I want to – because I\’m not happy about something else?

May 2023 be the year that brings you closer to who you truly are, closer to your Creator, closer to your truth.